Why Some Affirmations Work—And Others Don’t

Affirmations have become a popular tool for personal growth, and for good reason. Speaking empowering words like “I am confident,” “I am worthy,” or “I am strong enough” can feel energizing—when they work. But have you ever noticed that some affirmations leave you feeling worse, resistant and uncomfortable?

You’re not alone.

The difference lies in perception. When an affirmation aligns with your existing beliefs, your mind accepts it with ease. If you already have stories or experiences that support the idea that you’re strong, then saying “I am strong enough” reinforces that narrative. It feels natural. Encouraging. Even empowering.

But what happens when you try something like “I am smart enough”—and your inner voice flinches? You might feel tension in your body or even a bit of self-doubt bubbling to the surface. That’s not failure. It’s your mind’s filter at work.

Our minds constantly evaluate new information and compare it to pre-existing beliefs. If what we’re saying doesn’t “fit” with what we already believe, our internal filters—also called the critical factor—tend to reject it. This is what psychologists refer to as confirmation bias: the tendency to accept information that aligns with what we already think is true, and dismiss anything that doesn’t.

So does that mean affirmations that don’t immediately resonate are doomed to fail? Not at all!

This is where working with a therapist becomes transformative. Instead of trying to fight your own resistance alone, therapy offers guided tools to help your mind loosen its grip on old beliefs. Visualization Techniques, in particular, are incredibly effective for creating change. By engaging the imagination and emotional centers of the brain, visualization allows you to feel into new beliefs—even before they’ve fully taken root.

We can also use Cognitive Restructuring—a powerful therapeutic approach that helps reframe negative beliefs and reshape mental narratives. And by using the confirmation bias to work for you, we can intentionally introduce thoughts and experiences that reinforce your new, empowering beliefs. The more your mind encounters evidence supporting your affirmation, the more “true” it begins to feel.

It’s not magic—it’s the mind’s remarkable capacity for change.

If you’ve ever felt defeated by affirmations that seem to fall flat, consider this: the problem isn’t your willpower. It’s the gap between what you’re saying and what your mind is ready to accept. That gap can absolutely be bridged with support, awareness, and the right techniques.

So, what’s one affirmation you’ve tried that hasn’t worked for you (yet)? I’d love to hear it—and help you find a way to make it stick.