Trauma Informed Integrative Therapist
Zuzana Bubalova

You are NOT Broken!

In the vast tapestry of human experience, each thread weaves a unique story. In my work, navigating the intricate landscapes of my clients’ emotions, I’ve encountered a common belief: “Something must be inherently wrong within me”.

If you’ve ever felt this way, I invite you to explore a different perspective.

This article unfolds insights gained through my experiences working with my my clients, revealing that the challenges we face are not indicative of brokenness but are instead echoes of our resilience. Join me as we unravel the narrative together, shedding light on the power within you to reshape your story. Regardless of life’s trials and tribulations, you are a creator, a recorder of your experiences, and therein lies the power to change.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are broken. None of you! No matter what what your life is like, no matter what happened to you in your life. You are the way you are, not because of the things that happened to you. But because of the way you are relating to the way you recorded the things that happened to you.

You created it.

I don’t mean the event that happened to you, but the recording of the event. And because you created it, you have the ability to change it. And you have permission to do that! We all are somewhere on our own journey through life, we all are at different layers in the process of reclaiming our own selves. But a lot of times what happens is, because of the systems the nature put in place to help us survive in difficult moments, the same systems allowed those recordings to be created in the first place. Just like in the movie “Ghost Busters”, when the heroes of the movie caught a ghost in the trap. And when the trap was closed, the light on the box started to blink. 

And in the real life it works very similar. Your own system, every time you go through the experience and you survive it, little trap is created within you, that grabs that memory, the ghost of the memory. And the problem that you are dealing with isn’t the event, it’s the ghost of that event.  And it is in a little trap inside you.

Your Light-Flash

And every now and then, you are moving through the world and you see something, or you hear something, or your find yourself in an environment that is in some way similar to the ghost of that event you are carrying inside of you, and you light flashes. That light-flash is an equivalent of a body feeling. Just like a check-engine-light on the dashboard of your car.  And if you drive and your check-engine-light goes on, you don’t rush to the garage to get the LIGHT fixed. Why? Because it‘s not the light that’s the problem. The light is the signal, it’s a sign that something else in the car needs looking after. Something in your car needs attending to.

And as we are moving through the world and we are having these experiences and we are having these flash-backs, and these moments of emotions, or even these moments of NOT being able to feel emotion. They are like a little check-engine-light on your dash board, but it doesn‘t mean you are broken. It’s an indicator that the systems that the nature put in place, those to help you survive and move through the experiences that would have overwhelmed you, did their job. And now you just need to go to get your oil changed. Or the software updated, or delete the old files. That’s all it means.

But if you don’t understand that, that that’s part of the human experience. Than you start having all these manifestations of symptoms and thoughts and feelings, and ideas that there is something wrong with me. No, in most cases not so much.

Your story that you attached to your experiences

What makes it wrong is the story attached to those feelings.  It’s the narrative that you assigned to the experiences that YOU created in the first place.

And think about it. What is the more empowering way to think about it. „These feelings I am having are signs that there is something in my body, that my body is ready to get rid off. I just need to go and find the mechanic that can do that.“ Or:  „Something is wrong with me and my life is gonna be difficult and I am going to be this way forever.“

The truth is, that the story we attach to anything can empower us or disempower us. It can give us more access to resources or take them away. When you work with people, listening to their stories and how they go about their lives, it becomes more and more apparent that people are not the way they are, because of the things that happened to them, they are not the way they are because of the things they are expressing. They are the way they are because of the way they recorded the things that happened to them and the way that they have been relating to those recordings. (Are they expressing what they are feeling, or are they denying it? Are they repressing what they feel or are they talking about it? Are they fighting with their feelings, or they are accepting what happened and processing them out? Or are they stuffing it down and trying to distract themselves form it?)

If you want heal, changing those stories or giving them up completely is the way to go . And that is a journey! Not a destination!

You are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. You might have made some regrettable choices in your past, yet that is not YOU. It’s just something what you do. And you can always change what you are doing.

As we navigate the labyrinth of our emotions, remember that the challenges you face are not a verdict on your worth. They are signals, much like a flickering check-engine-light, urging you to attend to the intricate systems that helped you survive. If the ghosts of past events linger, it’s not a reflection of your brokenness but an opportunity for healing. This is an ongoing journey, not a fixed destination.

If you resonate with these words and find yourself ready to embark on the path of self-discovery and transformation, I’m here to guide you. Reach out, and together, let’s navigate the terrain of your inner world, rewriting narratives, and embracing the power to shape your story anew.